the trouble with 'just friends'

I can promise you, and you may agree, that if there was a community where everyone could enter in and lay their armor down just for one second, where no one would feel judged, pressured or compared, where they could truly trust the people around them, that countless men and women would run to be a part of that kind of community. 

~ The Trouble with "Just Friends"

i love this article (check it out by clicking on the link!) :) i think we all see how the world has influenced our mindset of dating - that it's super important and that kinda makes us think a LOT about opposite sex relationships (even if it's not your but others' opposite sex relationships). if some guy hangs out with some girl, we immediately suspect 'something' is going on. for some of us who struggle with it more, if someone of the opposite sex just talks to you, you're already speculating about whether it would work out if you got together. and maybe for some of us, we only talk (or don't talk) to those whom we have a romantic attraction to.

but let's not let the world cloud the reality of our relationships with each other: we are BROTHERS and SISTERS in CHRIST! and it may sound very cliche but if you consider the implications of that truth, it's really amazing. we are family. and like the article says, we're not just friends. if we treat each other just as friends, we are missing out on a whole lot of what God intended our church to be.

Christ died for all of us and through that, we became part of His family. if we were just friends, it was be less permanent than that. friends may come and go, sometimes we argue and stop being friends, sometimes there is a misunderstanding and we feel awkward fixing it, sometimes we just drift apart. but family is a permanent bond, and for us, it is held together through Christ's sacrifice.

so what does that mean for us?
actually, it means a lot. it means that when we have something against one of our brothers or sisters or we have an argument, we fix it. it means we dont treat anyone as invaluable or invisible (all these are people whom Christ has died for!). it means we listen to each other and share our lives with each other. it means we stop seeing people as benefits or costs to ourselves, but as real people with real lives.

i think that maybe we have sidetracked from the model Christ gave us. He was concerned about people. sometimes we (me included) think too much about checklists - what do i need to get done, is it going to go well, is that person doing what he/she is supposed to etc etc. but i am realising that this is such an impersonal and programme-focused point of view! where is the concern about real people with real lives?

just as we know that we are real people who make mistakes, cant control the outcome of stuff, and in the end are just hopeless without God, let us also give our brothers and sisters understanding and love where they have made mistakes. instead of just pointing out mistakes, let us encourage each other in the Lord and point each other to Him! we are family after all. :)

and when we are able to treat each other in love, as a family in Christ, you can imagine what a wonderful community that will be. :)

let me be a little kinder 

let me be a little blinder

to the faults of those around me

let me praise a little more

let me dream when i am weary

just a little bit more cheery

think a little more of others

and a little less of me! 

isaiah 1 (:

in isaiah 1, God addresses Judah who has forsaken the Lord and angered Him, who are rebelling even though they have received God's grace, to be His 'children' (v.2).

it's just so interesting how God said to them,
wash yourselves; make yourselves clean;
remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes;
cease to do evil,
learn to do good;
seek justice,
correct oppression;
bring justice to the fatherless,
plead the widow’s cause. (isaiah 1:16-17)

God says to be 'clean', they need to learn to do good + seek justice for the oppressed, which was something Judah was not doing! they were offering sacrifices, fulfilling the rites of the law, but had not seen the heart of the moral law: to love God and love others (v.11-15)! not only did they forsake God, their hands were "full of blood" (v.15) as they had not shown love to the disadvantaged and the lack of these actions reflected the state of their hearts.

funny how we ourselves also love to be so concerned with practices that we forget the point of it all, what's at the heart of doing these practices? have we started seeking to do actions rather than loving God? seeking the gift but not the Giver? because doing them doesn't make us right with God!

we seem to always forsake God like "harlots" (v.21), finding refuge in the world and in christian-looking practices even though we are God's children, and should be showing gratitude and obedience (v.2-3)!

are we willing to go back to what God intended for us to be, "the city of righteousness, the faithful city" (v.26)? after all that was His intent: not only for us to be a community that loves, but through that to proclaim His grace and righteousness to all! are we willing to live the way God had intended, after all His commandments are 'not grievous', but rather they are what was supposed to be!

this passage really reminded me about what i had learnt recently about being part of a Christian community that has the 'critical mass' to shine as lights in this dark world, how as a faithful and righteous city, we can show the world how life was meant to be lived: in love for God and those around us. (:

feel free to comment + add on other perspectives guys! (:

choosing to lose

today's qt made me realise some things. first off, i'll confess that i haven't really had a quality-kind of qt in a while - it's been more of breezing through passages without any real study. but today things were different, and i'm pretty sure it's only because today i chose to set aside undisturbed, unrushed, unpressured time, and because i really just took my time dwelling in the word.

and what a difference it makes. when there isn't anything else on your mind, you're fully awake, and you really want to analyse and break down the passage and fit it all together again to understand it. so many times i just went with the flow of things and busyness, and let them take precedence and priority in my life. even when i did do qt, i made sure it was short and consoled myself that hey, at least i did it.

i guess i never realised that we really do have a choice, we shouldn't feel like slaves to time or work or stress, or even entertainment or friends. and it extends to all areas of how we spend our time. what jobs we choose to do or what cca/commitments we choose to take up - does it exhaust us and leave us with no time to commune with God and His people? are we choosing temporal, worldly enjoyment over the true joy that comes from building a relationship with our Lord and Saviour?

Jesus says, 'whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done.' (Matthew 16:25-27)

now that we acknowledge we do have a choice,

may we choose to lose,

and find that He will save.

bad times?

James 1:2-4
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Romans 8:28-30
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

every situation we go through, is to build our faith and steadfastness (James), and ultimately to make us more like Jesus (Romans). and these are essential in our growth and our journey towards the end point: heaven. James never wrote "when you're having fun, it will produce steadfastness".

good times rarely make us more like Jesus. it's the bad times that count more. let's find our joy in that. :)

Paul the Roman Citizen

In Acts 22, we hear about how Paul was about to get owned by the Roman tribune. He was supposed to be flogged and questioned, a form of torture to elicit a confession about what he was up to. Some of us have seen caning in Singapore, (http://corpun.com/sgjur1.htm) and know how painful and cruel it can be. Well, the Roman version is 100x worse. It was conducted with a whip of leather thongs loaded with bits of metal or bone; it could maim for life or kill. Jesus was scourged with such a whip (John 19:1). (Ref: Reformation Study Bible)

Now Paul had been beaten before, but had never endured such scourging. We read in the chapter how just as he was about to be flogged, he quickly appealed to his Roman citizenship. He mentioned to the nearby centurion: "Is it lawful for you to flog a man who is a Roman citizen and uncondemned?"

At first it might seem that Paul had finally succumbed to his human fears. The thought of that painful whip on his back must have been too much for him. He had a way out - his citizenship, which was very powerful and highly valued in those days. (It's like if you're in trouble in school and the teacher wants to cane you and you go "oh, by the way, my dad is the prime minister") So Paul appealed to his citizenship and was spared the caning.

But we go on to read, that it wasn't because of his fear of pain. Paul was prepared to suffer and die all the way for the sake of the gospel. Instead, this appeal to his status was so that he could attain a chance to address the crowds and share Christ with even more people.

For those of us in position of power today (sports leaders, managers, bosses and employers etc), how do we use our position and status? Do we utilize or even abuse it for our personal gain? Do we glory in our position and take pride in what others think of us? Or do we even use it to gain that advantage in life?

Paul used his position for the sake of the gospel. May we learn to use whatever position the Lord has put us in to glorify His name.

Christ's love compels us!

For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died.
2 Corinthians 5:14 (NIV)

Using the word "compels" really understates the tremendous implications of this verse! The ESV uses the word "controls" and the KJV uses "constraints". Indeed, that is the implication of what it means to be found in Christ. To be so utterly convinced of His sacrificial death for us and to sincerely want to live every single moment for His glory.

Let's seek to use this blog to encourage one another in our endeavors to lead lives truly controlled by the love of Christ!